Roll yourself in a blanket and yell, Crush me. Remark upon your handsomeness.
Pretend to be a neurologist. X-ray everyone.
Stick out your hand and say, Hello. Use a magnifying glass. Say, But it’s my opinion.
Extend your right arm fully.
Feel your wheelchair spin in snow. Lift the flap to read, Some changelings might forget they are not human. Learn to use a toaster.
When given a free Disney cruise by the highway patrol, ask, Why? Hug Goofy. Hum
Tchaikovsky when battling your enemies. Stand in braces for eleven seconds.
If someone says, That doesn’t look fun, drive backwards. Admire Marvin Luther King, Jr.
Refer to your right hand in the third person. Refuse to leave the lingerie department.
Consider the dust which once blocked the sun. Honk like a parasaurolophus. Ignore the
phrase, Great job!
Ask, Is God respectful and responsible? Know your carnivores.
Ask, Is death an OK thing? Take seven steps in water.
Lift the flap to read, The sickly, clever little boy had brought meditation and joy into the house. Be constantly aware of something without stopping.
What kind of dinosaur never gives up? A try-try-tryceratops. Help those who say, Is that
the wrong word? Enchant the perplexed.
Tell those who haven’t noticed, It’s spring, but the snow began. Carry gum and a ray gun.
Tiptoe on your knees.
Copyright 2016, Jenny Montgomery
Jenny (Seymore) Montgomery’s writing has appeared or is forthcoming in Spectrum, Unsplendid, Sensitive Skin, the New York Times, Gathering of the Tribes, and the Cairo Times. She was educated at the Evergreen State College and Columbia University and owns a distillery in Missoula, Montana with her husband.