Reporting Live from Portmanteaupia

by Adrian S. Potter

Often I blog using the slanguage of ebonics,
inevitably risking blaxploitation, but it’s hard
to remain incognegro when you are black
by popular demand. Herd the sheeple from
their McMansions to impatiently wait in line
for this year’s affluenza vaccination. Countless
Americans suffer from the symptoms
of anticipointment and funemployment,
with smoggy futures as glambiguous
as their shopaholic pasts. They swallow
scanadalicous propaganda by the sporkful,
craptacular calories that become nothing
but a ginourmous snackrifice for a nation
of folks monitoring their spendometers.
We are a populace of disgruntled imagineers
chillaxing with appletinis over brunch,
guesstimating whether more drinks
might cause a Breathalyzer to measure
the bodacious ineptitude of our existence.
Clearly common sense has been carjacked
for edutainment purposes. We misunderestimated
the obvious side effects of Frankenfood and sexting.
Because now, for all our gerrymandering,
the anecdata won’t validate our stragedies.
Frenemies will soon simulcast snarky chortles
at the awkward melding of functional words
into bastard lovechildren of lexicon and laziness,
refudiated remixes devoid yet full of meaning.

Copyright 2016, Adrian S. Potter

Adrian S. Potter writes poetry and short fiction. He’s author of the fiction chapbook Survival Notes (Červená Barva Press, 2008) and winner of the 2014 Lebanon Poets’ Society Free Verse Poetry Contest. Additional propaganda is at

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